Yeshiva Boy: Once in a lifetime?

People always asked me why I decided to go to Yeshiva for the year, and before I arrived in Israel I never really had good answers. To learn Jewish texts, well sure, that was an integral part of it, but I guess I could have learned anywhere in the world for the year. So when asked, I kept falling back on the good 'ole  "It's a once in a lifetime experience" line. It was great: a taut one-liner that somehow convinced most people that I knew why I wanted to go to Israel. In hindsight, that platitude was only a self-justification, a way to convince myself that I was making the right choice. Once in a lifetime experience--big deal, there are a lot of things that I might only have the chance to do once, but I don't put off college to do them.

But off I went, and now here I am, four months in and having a great time. Am I glad I came? No doubt about it. Do I know, in hindsight, what are the "real reasons" to spend the year learning in a yeshiva in Israel? Maybe not 100%, but I think I'm getting there. 

Too often in high school, Judaic classes were just that -- a class. They were bereft of a certain singularity, a certain sense of purpose, that pervades learning in a Yeshiva setting and makes the experience thoroughly unique. I'm not sure why that is, but I think it boils down to this: in high school you are still a child whereas in yeshiva you are becoming an adult.  That coming of age begets the realization that if you want to live a Jewish life, you must be grounded in your beliefs and convictions. Simply relying on what some Rabbi or other authority figure tells you doesn't suffice; you need to ask your own questions, find your own answers and struggle with your own faith. The year in a yeshiva provides you with that opportunity. I personally never encountered that struggle in high school, but in yeshiva I am challenged by every page of Rabbi Soloveitchik's works
 
I read, every daf [page] of Talmud I prepare and seemingly every conversation I hold with my rabbis or peers. It is also here that I have found many of the answers to my questions--questions I would not have even thought to ask just a few months ago. Yeshiva forced me to challenge my faith and in turn has strengthened it.

There is something special about learning Torah in Israel -- and especially in Jerusalem -- as well. Considering that Jews have been yearning to come here for thousands of years, passing up the opportunity to explore Judaism in depth in the holy land for a year is a hard sell. Reading the Bible and then visiting the places where seminal events in Jewish history took place is not something you can do anywhere but Israel.  New York might have a lot of Jews, but it's no holy land. 

It has become strikingly clear that learning in Israel for the year is unlike any other experience I have ever had, and probably ever will have. And it's not just the learning that renders this year such; it's the spontaneity -- the ability -- after the structure of the American day school experience and rigor of the college application process, to live in the moment and to experience the moments that seem more vibrant and authentic in Israel/Jerusalem than elsewhere in the world.  In these past four months I've learned to appreciate the beauty of the spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment adventures that always seem to find me in this country.

Whether it was getting a last minute heads up about, and then literally sprinting to hear, a Matisyahu concert in a little coffee shop on Erev Yom Kippur; or wandering around Jerusalem at four in the morning that same day and watching hordes of people say their last set of Selichot while throngs of men carried caged chickens for Kapparot; or hiking in the Golan with 70 of my new friends while flood-like rain came thrashing down on us, spurring a spontaneous sing along of High Holiday songs; or dancing through the streets and into old age homes on Simchat Torah to bring holiday joy to those who couldn't dance themselves; or going to the shuk on a Friday afternoon to buy food for a Shabbat which you are spending with your friends in Yeshiva; or just looking out your window at this amazing country, at the hot pink sun peeking through the clouds and thinking, "Wow, how lucky am I to have an experience like this."

So going to Israel for the year might set me back in rat race. Who cares. I have my whole life to work, but only one opportunity to learn in a yeshiva in Israel with seventy friends from around the world. It is, after all, a once in a lifetime experience.