A Woman's Own: Shame on you, Gila Katsav

Well, I had an even greater thrill when one of Katsav's senior staffers came into the back room and said, "The President would like a massage. Does anyone know a good massage therapist?" Well, I knew one! My husband, Jacob, was working as a massage therapist - and was a die-hard Zionist who would undoubtedly jump at the opportunity to serve the State of Israel in whatever manner happened to be available.

The massage required some logistical maneuvers: Katsav was staying in the city and was giving his big speech to the community on Saturday night (a speech which turned out to be a dud - he was thereafter noted for being an exceptionally boring orator, and that was before the three-hour flop we witnessed last week). So anyway, Jacob had to rush to the city as soon as Shabbat was over in order to get the president's massage in before the Big Speech. Jacob prepared his stuff on Friday, and the second Shabbat was out, he grabbed his table and jumped into the car. Within five minutes, however, the call came. "Forget the massage," the senior staffer said. "The President does not get massages from men. Only from women."

At the time, we shrugged off this event as, well, an expression of the many phobias of heterosexual men (think George Costanza). But in light of all that has emerged since about Katsav, especially this week when he was indicted for two counts of rape and several accounts of sexual assault, with graphic descriptions provided by no less than nine different women from various periods in his life, a clear picture of Katsav and his alleged attitude toward women has emerged. The charge sheet paints a portrait of a controlling, manipulative, sexually obsessed and vicious rapist.

Perhaps the most startling of these images comes from Gila Katsav, the silent and dutiful "Stand by Your Man" woman, protector and protected, whose intermittent expressions of undying support for her accused husband add mystery and enigma to the entire story.

Yediot journalist Merav Betito interviewed Moshe and Gila this week, not only to talk about the mister's ill-fated attempt at vindication through his rambling, chaotic and at times verbally violent three-hour diatribe, but also to get the story from the missus. As Moshe went on and on about the minutiae of the case, sifting through boxes of testimony, he said to the reporter, "I'm going to get you more examples of this - Gila they're on page 29. Find the page." Gila, in her wife-slash-secretary role, had just emerged from the kitchen where she was washing dishes from lunch,  (By the way, considering the taxpayers just gave Katsav a multi-million shekel living allowance, why doesn't Gila at least have some help in the kitchen?)  and hastily found him the page he needed. "You see?" she said. "You still need me."

The entire scene is chilling not only in the way it suggests layers of Katsav's troubling relationships with women, but also because of the interaction between man and wife that forms the cornerstone of their definitions of gender.

Perhaps most disturbing is the way Gila seems to be frantically trying to prove Katsav needs her. Given the surrounding circumstances, one would think Moshe would be down on his knees in gratitude that she has stayed with him throughout this fiasco, trying to prove to her that she should stay with him! This pose of servitude coupled with the fearfulness that the powerful spouse will abandon her for no longer being "needed" is the classic abused woman's stance. Put up with everything, be pushed around and serve every need of the man, in exchange for the "privilege" of being allowed to remain in his presence.

Throughout the interview, Katsav displayed other signature signs of a man who has no respect for women. He repeatedly referred to his accusers, as well as the women who worked for him generally, as banot (girls) and not women, a common sting in Israeli society even among the most high level professional settings, a usage that systematically infantilizes women. Similarly, he disparagingly dismissed the reporter's questions and her entire professional identity by calling her gvirti, loosely translated as "Hey, lady." The reporter thus did not have a name, an identity or status in front of him. He did not call her, "Ms. Betito" or even "Merav," but just this dismissive, biting, "You are nothing to me" term of gvirti. It is a classic expression of the manipulative, abusive man, trying to control the women around him and prove he is stronger, more powerful and superior to all those around him. (If you ever want to get on my bad side, try calling me gveret.) It is one of the most embedded put-downs for women in the Hebrew language - right after banot.

When I think about Gila Katsav, I am torn between sympathy and indifference. Like many unfortunate women, she seems trapped in patterns of behavior that place her as perpetually and innately inferior, behaviors that accumulate - in this case, over decades - and embed self-perceptions that are difficult to unravel and emerge from. After years of having apparently been treated as an subservient creature, how can she be expected to think of herself as deserving of dignity and equality?

But at a certain point, I stop feeling sorry for women like Gila. Despite these challenges, she has not stood up for herself, challenged existing hierarchical gender patterns, or accessed her own sources of power and strength. She has chosen to remain wife of, server of, unquestioning supporter of a man whose attitude toward women is troubling at best, cruel and criminal at worst. I feel bad for her, but I am also very disappointed in her. Her support enables him. It is because she runs around him like a Charles Dickens character saying "Yes, sir" that Moshe Katsav is able to walk around thinking to himself, I am invincible. She has given him that power.

Shame on you, Gila Katsav. You could have been a model for women in modern society, challenging accepted norms, helping your husband become remorseful and demonstrating that he should be ashamed of his alleged actions, not entitled to national attention and indefinite taxpayer support. Instead of standing up for yourself, you have empowered alleged abuse. You have missed an opportunity to help yourself while helping Israel work towards a better society. You have continued to promote a misguided and damaging model for women.

History will certainly judge Moshe Katzav. But history will no doubt judge Gila Katzav as well.