The Tehillim tipping point

Posted by Modesty Blasé

In the latest attempt to resolve the 'shidduch crisis,' women across the religious globe have been scuttling to each other's homes to huddle and recite Tehillim (Psalms), entreating God's kindness for a good shidduch [match] for all the single people in their community. In London, one matchmaking organization, Made in Heaven, offers regular classes for women on Shmiras Ha Loshon (not speaking slander) as a means of mystically helping single people.

Women are the corrections of a community: when disasters strike, the rabbis often blame the women for gossiping or immodest dress (gossiping while dressed immodestly is a double whammy). As if women don't have enough to do, now they are responsible for the marital and spiritual well-being of a whole community and have been instructed to say Tehillim to avert further disasters. What was the Tehillim tipping point? How did these verses come to substitute serious learning and empowerment for women? Isn't it strange that while women's voices are accorded tremendous power to change the divinely ordained course of events, they have virtually no voice in the decision-making process of a religious community?

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Monday Jul 28, 2008

Mothers and fathers

Posted by Modesty Blasé

Sports day next week. Followed by the end of year concert. Hot on the heels of graduation day. And they expect me to go to each event. Couldn't I just send a tired, badly dressed, breasts sagging, blow up life-sized doll that I could remotely contol to wave and cheer when one of my kids appear? It has to be a more effective use of my time than actually being there.

Fathers have it easy: they are not allowed to attend the concerts at my daugter's school due to the religious code of the school (to which we freely signed up, so I shan't moan). They cannot watch the mothers' race on sports day for fear of seeing real sagging breasts bobbing up and down across the 100 metre finishing line.

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About this blog

Modesty Blasé

And G-d created Modesty. And Modesty grew up to be an Orthodox Jewish housewife and mother in London. She has a Pesach kitchen and a Polish cleaner. Her skirts are long and she often sports a trendy baseball cap with a fake ponytail. But lately, Modesty has been having some doubts. This is her commentary.

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Devorah: Throughout the world, thousands of Jews assemble peacefully for pro-Israel rallies, and the mainstream media don't bother to report on it. A few dozen hateful Islamic fanatics behave obnoxiously and/or illegally while protesting against Israel or some perceived insult to Islam, and it's all over the media.

Cember: Jeanie: The problem is that the hyper-pious of any of the misogynistic Abrahamic religions seem to believe that all men are governed by their gonads, and therefore have strict rules that attempt to limit the pious horn-dogs. Since the rules are made by men, their method is precisely "blam[ing] the cat". That's why Orthodox women cover their hair, wear (usually) frumpy looking long skirts, and cover the skin on their upper bodies. Ditto for some Protestant sects. The Catholics used to put nuns into modified burkhas. Pious Moslems still do the burkha bit, or modify it with hijab and veil.

Jeanie - Texas: I'm late to the conversation & doubtful anyone will see this, but why so much legalism about physical appearance, particularly women? It's absurd and we all know it's used as a means of controlling others just for the hell of it. Yes, one should use common sense when going out in public, but let's face it - we all have our own interpretation of the word "modesty" and we're choking on gnats here. A dog is still a dog regardless of what the cat is wearing, so why blame the cat? I hereby declare all men are to wear orange & fushia polka-dot bowties until further notice. No exceptions!!

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