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Sunday Jul 06, 2008
Modesty Blasé: Much to learn from frum women
Billed as the 'largest kosher bakery in Europe,' Mr. Baker is a great meeting spot, punkt in the heart of one of London's main Jewish thoroughfares. Israeli taxi drivers, Polish builders, Slovakian au-pairs and Hendon housewives can all be found drinking coffee and eating fresh pastries in this huge bakery-cum-coffee shop.
In a country where trees are not adorned with notices and their tear-off telephone numbers, kosher shops are an important part of the information highway. Free notices about shiurim, items for sale and job vacancies within the community are common.
Last Friday, I saw a 14 page booklet - The Gemach Database - on the information counter. An acronym for 'Gemilut Hasidim' (trans. acts of kindness), a Gemach is essentially an organization that loans useful items for free. This Gemach Database has a comprehensive list of facilities including all the typical ones such baby equipment, bedding for extra guests, clothing, medical necessities and catering equipment. However, there are also the unusual ones including 'Humane pest control - animal friendly traps for catching mice, rats, squirrels, etc without harming them,' 'Bubble blowing machine for use at parties,' and the 'Cut Price Bris Service,' (did they intend the pun?), while the most sensitive Gemach has to be the spare breast milk supplied by nursing mothers for premature babies.
Women in the religious community know how to organise themselves in ways that other communities can only dream of. I showed this Gemach database to a friend who is not connected to the religious community at all - she was very impressed and immediately labelled it as a 'model of community empowerment, resource sharing and grass-roots social action.'
'No,' I said, 'you've completely missed the point. This is just frum women doing what they do - it's part of being frum and belonging to a community.' While it may serve as a good example of the sociology of religion, it is more significantly, religion writ-large. These women keep the social engines well-oiled, organising the nitty-gritty of day to day life with total selflessness and modesty. 'Social action' is currently being touted as an important tool for strengthening Jewish identity - I'd say the wider community have a lot to learn from these women.
Modesty Blasé can also be read on www.lilith.org/blog where some other doubtful Jewish women appear.
1 | Nachuml, Sunday Jul 06, 2008
Modesty, your perception is so xenophobic, it is racist. I am an American who grew up in an Orthodox household. I too believed that "we" were the most righteous, as exemplified by our chesed - no family was ever abandoned when faced with a crisis. But when I grew up and moved to another state, I discovered genuine, compassionate and generous gentiles who practiced this very same righteousness. You think we have the lock on chesed? Take off your baseball cap,put on a pair of jeans and go forth in the world.
2 | Shalom, Cherry Hill, NJ, Monday Jul 07, 2008
Nachuml, it seems to me that you may want to consider why you felt the need to so aggressively attack 'Modesty' with so little basis. The author wrote that this is 'religion writ-large', not Judaism writ-large, and one can easily extend the use of 'frum' women to religious women in general. Even in you are right in your assumptions--is your post supposed to be an example of true sensitivity and understanding? Shalom
3 | James, Australia, Monday Jul 07, 2008
Nachuml, you are using language carelessly. This article does not express an irrational fear of foreigners. Therefore, it is not xenophobic. Neither is "the wider community" a race. Hence, it's not racist!
4 | Nachuml, Monday Jul 07, 2008
To James and Shalom, please reread Modesty's blog. She writes, "Women in the religious community know how to organise themselves in ways that other communities can only dream of." Call it xenophobic or not, it certainly means that other communities don't have this level of intracommunity compassion. This is untrue and Modesty clearly believes that frumkeit is the core motivation of such compassion. I disagree. Compassion can be found in many communities and one need not be frum or even Jewish. I believe that the Orthodox community is so insular it is blind to the goodness found elsewhere.
5 | Jason, Monday Jul 07, 2008
I agree with Nachumi. I too have grown up & continue to live within an Orthodox community, and I too find it far too insular and self-congratulating. While there are certainly aspects of Orthodox life that we may be proud of, we should certainly not be oblivious to the serious issues confronting our community. It is incumbent upon us all to ask ourselves why the Orthodox community is poorer than the balance of the Jewish community, why is there such a desparate need for tzedakah in the frum community & why do we continue to support the establishment of more kollelim and yeshivot despite this.
6 | Shalom, Cherry Hill, NJ, Monday Jul 07, 2008
Nachuml, once more, it can be read as you understand it, but it can just as easily be read in the broader context of religious communities in general. Not to repeat myself, but in what way does the tenor of your original post demonstrate the broadmindedness that you are calling for? Shalom
7 | Shalom, Cherry Hill, Nj, Monday Jul 07, 2008
Hi, Jason, while the Orthodox community can be insular and sef-congratulating as you write, this post is a very mild example of it. In any case, isn't it clear that when people take on added expenses such as more children, kosher food, and private schools, while often giving up some income due to restrictions of Shabbat and where one will live, and so on, the average will be less affluent. While some take this too far, on the whole, shouldn't we applaud less materialism? Best wishes, Shalom
8 | Avrohom - Israel, Monday Jul 07, 2008
Jason, you have the wrong question. The real question you should ask yourself is, why do you hate yourself so much? When you reach the truth to that question, you will stop projecting your self-loathing onto the orthodox community.
9 | Sean KS, Tuesday Jul 08, 2008
God made us to need each other's love. It's the way we are wired. This 'Gemilut Hasidim' is simply one way we enjoy each other, and feel connected with each other. Peace be with you.
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