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Monday Nov 10, 2008
Modesty Blasé: Promoting promiscuity? Posted by Modesty Blasé
Comments: 136
The perils of public transport are too much to bear for some of the delicate flowers of northwest London. Golders Green and Hendon have a seedy side and many anxious parents insist on driving their daughters to and from school to shield them from the sort of people they are likely to meet on the bus en route to one of the religious schools in the area. I have a different approach - stick our kids on the bus and let them see how the other half lives: girls with skirts up to their pupik [belly button], with pallid skin and multiple earlobe piercings, smoking nervously and looking pathetic hanging onto the shirttails of smelly, gangly and pimply boys. This has to be the most effective antidote to any frum girl's aspirations to be 'normal.' There is a climate of fear about teenage girls. Media reports suggest that girl gangs take pleasure in gratuitous violence and target defenceless victims. We don't know what to do about the young girls drinking alcohol to excess and starving themselves to death. The crowds will part in a shopping mall to let a group of prowling girls pass by. I know as I have done it myself - they can be very intimidating, even though underneath it all, they just want a young man to love them and look after them. This is why the UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in western Europe. One of the obvious implications of multiple sexual partners is the increased chances of sexually transmitted diseases, and recent news that the HPV (human papillomavirus) vaccination, designed to protect against 'the commonest causes of cervical cancer,' will soon be available to 12 and 13 year olds has confused religious parents. The government sponsored brochure explains that the
Community responses has varied: doctor-mothers have not blinked an eyelid and are signing the parental consent form without hesitation while fathers who don't like the innuendo implying that their religious daughters are sleeping around are wavering before signing on the dotted line. Most parents seem to have taken the 'better safe than sorry' route of agreeing to have their daughters vaccinated while in the same breath have expressed a wish that the Jewish schools would take more of an interest in coping with breast cancer and educating young women about proper self-checking as they get older. In the Jewish Tribune, one of the weekly charedi newspapers, a news article on the 30th October explained the vaccination and cited support by key members of the community including a prominent rabbi and a frum doctor. However, in this week's edition (6th November) the Office of the Rabbinate of the Union of Hebrew Orthodox Congregations issued a large advertisement saying that
Have the Rabbis advocated anything? Would it be too much to ask that they advocate seeking a medical opinion? This ambiguous proclamation, without citing medical evidence or consultation, is irresponsible and places families guided by rabbinical authority in an invidious position. The implicit message is that if parents allow their daughters to have these vaccinations, they are suggesting that their young maideles could be promiscuous and we, as a community, are condoning behaviour that is contrary to a religious lifestyle. This approach is so naive and endemic of the "hush hush" approach to relationships and a denial of the changing social mores that are trickling through to every part of the religious community. There will always be unblemished boys and girls from good families who will marry very young, however, there are sexual diseases in the religious community acquired in a number of unsavoury ways and we have a responsibility to the young girls of the community to protect them. The percentage of people affected may be much smaller than in the general community, but how can these medically unqualified leaders who intimidate their community into avoiding this vaccination carry the burden of potentially contributing to an unnecessary and devastating illness in the future? Check out Modesty's new blog: www.modestyblase.com where you can read more snippets and hear an occassional word from Mr. Blasé.
1 | Moshe, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
Thank you Rabbi Modesty Blase for your (worthless) opinion.....
2 | Rachel in Israel, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
Long ago the rabbi's ruled that single girls don't go to the mikvah even though that meant Karet (worse than HPV) for teens who sleep around. Gueass they should have consulted with modesty (not(.
3 | Shalom, Cherry Hill, NJ, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
To Moshe, It's wonderful to see that the time that you spent doing tshuvah during the past Yamim Nora'im was so well spent. Clearly, you have internalized the concepts of 'dan lekaf zechut' and 've'ahavta le'reyacha ka'mocha' to such a degree that no one will be telling stories of the Chafetz Chaim; rather, we will all be looking at you for guidance in how to show kindness to others and humility. Yashar Koach! Shalom
4 | David, Manchester, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
Why do you call yourself Modesty. You should change your title to Arrogance. Who do you think you are to criticize the Rabbis. Why do you think your opinion is better than theirs. Jews through the ages have taken guidance from their Rabbis and accepted that they know better than the man in the street. You behave like a small child who critizes their parents because they don't know what they are talking about believing that parents know nothing. Also, taking up Shalom's post, why aren't you dan lekaf zechus that they have consulted extensively on the matter before making their views known.
5 | David, Manchester, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
Incidentally, children do not see the side of things that you see in the goyim on the bus. They only see the glamour and the care free life style which they seek to copy. That is what the whole world chases, although it is obvious to the thinking person that it is all emptiness. If most of the world is fooled by the glamour, how can you expect children to see through the veil.
6 | Jason, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
Modesty, please don't think that the Moshes and Davids of the world are representative of your readership. I am hopeful that they are not, for they are utterly hopeless and a true chillul hashem. Kudos to you for a post brilliantly crafted and a point very well taken. Some Charedim have adopted the untenable view that their gedolim cannot err. This Catholic-like notion is wholly inconsistent with our Mesorah and with all the historical evidence before us. Keep up the great work!
7 | Chaia, Israel, London, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
As an educator teaching Charedi girls I have dealt with many heartrending events. Many girls, get groped and molested, and WORSE, before age 12 or 13! I want to emphasize that these are very frum good girls who did not go searching for trouble and their parents and their schools try as much as they can to protect them. I'm all for driving your daughter to school, and keeping a close watch, but also be aware that these incidents are increasing in number and are kept very hushed up. If this vaccine prevents cancer, then why not? Daven your daughter will never have needed it!
8 | Jason, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
David, you state that "Jews through the ages have taken guidance from their Rabbis and accepted that they know better than the man in the street." Where is your evidence of this? My history books do not speak of unanimity & blind adherence to rabbinic leadership, but precisely the opposite. In fact, your rabbis were dead wrong in the Shoah, as several even Charedi texts attest to the fact that your leaders advised their community members that the war will not impact them (as some fled with the assistance of the Zionists!). R'Akiva also backed Bar Kochba & look at the devastating results!
9 | Marsha in Englewood, NJ, USA, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
I don't understand why people would even consult a rabbi about whether or not to avail themselves of a vaccine. This vaccine is being advertised in the US. It's PRIMARY purpose is to prevent cervical cancer. Instead of criticizing Ms. Blase or running to a rabbi, you should be getting your adolescent daughters to a doctor, and thank G-d science has yielded a vaccine, finally, that can eliminate a killer of women. When they finally have a vaccine for breast cancer are you going to ask a Rov?
10 | Ruby, NY, Tuesday Nov 11, 2008
Bravo, Modesty! HPV (and cervical cancer) are horrible diseases; why wouldn't we want to do all we can to prevent them? The reality is that sometimes teens and young adults have sex (shocking, I know). Putting your head in the sand won't prevent the spread of disease, only education will. I would rather have my daughter protected to the best of my ability, which means education about disease, and prevention, communication of our morals and expectations, and the willingness to be supportive.
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