Eye on Lebanon: Hizbullah 'bill of rights'

Browsing the Lebanese blogosphere, we came across this website Ouwet.com and recently stumbled upon this tongue-in-cheek entry. Here is the entry in full. Enjoy!

As posted on The Ouwet Front:

Since Hizbullah declared its IRANDEPENDENCE, I have thought up a bill of rights  - or no rights - of this Islamic State:

- First Amendment - Establishment Clause, Free Exercise Clause; freedom of speech, of the press, and of assembly; right to petition

Sayyid [Wikipedia definition: "an honorific title that is given to males accepted as descendants of the Islamic prophet Muhammad"] shall make a law banning the establishment of a religion other than Shi'a Islam, and prohibit the free exercise thereof; and will ban the freedom of speech, and of the press; but maintains the right of the people peaceably to burn tires, and to riot against the Government for a redress of grievances.

- Second Amendment - Right to keep and bear arms by Hizbullah

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of Hizbullah, the right of Hizbullah supporters to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

- Third Amendment - Protection of troops from bombing

No Soldier shall, in time of war, be kept out of any house, regardless of  the consent of the Owner, so that the Soldier can use the Owner of the house as a Human Shield.  

- Fourth Amendment - Constant state of War

The people of Syran shall live in a constant state of war, misery and destruction. They shall be doomed to a life in a backwards society where they will spend their vacations in bomb shelters, and the rest of their lives running from place to place to avoid bombs. They shall spend all of their hard-earned money rebuilding their destroyed homes every year.

- Fifth Amendment - Solving all problems using Hizbullah 

Hizbullah shall remain armed until the Sheb'a Farms are fully liberated. Afterwards, it shall keep its weapons until it liberates Occupied Palestine, throws the Jews in the Sea, and returns Jerusalem to the Arabs. When that task is completed, the Hizbullah shall remain armed until It solves all the problems in the Middle East and the World.  And then, Hizbullah shall keep its arsenal, just in case aliens attack Earth, knowing that the world's armies cannot defend our planet like the Hizbullah can.

- Sixth Amendment - Brainwashing of the people

All the citizens of the Syranian Islamic State shall be forced to watch only Al-Manar, and shall be taught to hate the racist, evil, Israeli state for generations to come. The people shall be taught to love war and destruction. Children shall be taught to hate and discriminate against anyone diffrent from them, and shall be raised in an environment of violence and misery.

- Seventh Amendment - Trial by Imams

Any traitors to the Islamic State shall be tried by a crazy, extremist Imam, and shall be sentenced to whatever punishment the lunatic Imam sees fit regardless of what this punishment is.

- Eighth Amendment - Encouragement of cruel and unusual punishment

Enemies of the Syranian Islamic State shall be treated like animals, be tortured with no regard whatsoever to humanity or decency, and shall be slaughtered in their beds for their crimes. 

- Ninth Amendment - Prohibition of rights to anyone outside the Shi'a Community

Anyone who isn't a Shi'a, and doesn't pledge full and blind support to the Faqih State, shall be deprived of any rights or liberties that the obedient people enjoy.

- Tenth Amendment - Powers of the Sayyid

The powers delegated to the Sayyid by the Iranian Revolution Leader, cannot be questioned by anyone, and are to be obeyed and respected by the people.