Old/New World Discourse: Gratitude continued, Part I: On appreciating husbands

This Blog's next three entries are about gratitudes that come naturally, especially in Jerusalem. I will celebrate: marriage, parenting, and aliyah.

In the circles in which I am Blessed to travel, I have heard many versions of a joke, which, though superficially, sounds funny, is an example of the path to the destruction of Shalom Bayit. The "amusing" bit, when spoken by a woman, goes as follows;"My husband is the head of my house, certainly and unequivocally. However, I am the neck."

Stalwarts of koshrut, valiants of tzniut [modesty] and individuals who otherwise act as pillars of the community laugh at this remark, choosing to retell it again and again. Whereas I am not sure that I am among the vanguard of those believers, I am grateful that I no longer number among the perpetuators of that "joke." A wise rav set me right; with simple, kind words he instructed me to laugh with at such portrayals and not to further them, either since innocent husbands were being hurt.

True appreciation of our help opposites is demonstrated as much in what we refrain from thinking, saying and doing as it is in the ways we manifest, both publically and privately, our affections. Though it's easy to point to biological, e.g. physical disparities, or to ways in which men and women deviate from each other because of some kind of psychological heredity, it's I important for us to cherish rather than to mock those differences.

Women, especially, who find themselves fortunate enough, even more especially to be living in Israel, have to be extra careful about this matter. We are at the cusp of great holiness here. It is unsavvy, in the least, to soil our presence by mocking others of The King's soldiers.

Granted, men and women will never truly understand what it's like to be each other. The good news is that we don't have to. Our task remains the delicate caring for individuals whose way of existence we can’t grasp.

If, in the least, we remain aware that certain juxtapositions of referents are not only unfunny, but are also, cruel, then we gain the ability to retain our place in the palace.

Our mates will feel appreciated when we take the time to enact such care.
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Little Smile: Manufacturer's Warranty: Old News

Speaking of which, a long time ago, (see: "The Dog," January 15, 2007), I wrote about a difficult day during which my dear partner was stricken with kidney stones, Unfortunately, that experience occurred again a year later. The good news is that Computer Cowboy again passed (bad pun) through his misery.

En route, Missy Oldest ran to the safe shores of a friend’s home, Boy-Getting-Taller "toughed out" the episode by limiting his request for hugs to just five, Missy Youngest, who was away at camp, remained oblivious, and Boy-Who-Needs-Books insisted on pretending that he knew nothing, since such a "lack" of knowledge meant he got to use the "suddenly necessary" packaged food purchased, but discarded, by his dad.

The children packed Dad fruit, water, seeds and Homodia for Terem’s waiting room. They called to check up on him. They hugged him when we, BH, returned home.

I, too, survived the subsequent electrocardiograms, chest x-ray, and numerous blood tests, which I was required to receive. Missy Oldest accompanied me to one specialist. I took myself to yet a different, but important, doctor. Several family friends pinch hit where they were needed.

In the end, my husband has come to appreciate that it’s a good idea to eat a healthy diet. As for me, my doctors and I have come to appreciate that sometimes recurring chest pain is nothing more than a "Maalox Moments." Keep smiling.