Guest Blog: What Peres really told the Iranian people

Presidents Barack Obama and Shimon Peres both addressed the Iranian people this week in broadcast messages in honor of the Iranian new year, Nowruz. Obama sent a video message that was widely received and spoke in a respectful, conciliatory tone of a "new beginning." Peres' message was broadcast to a narrow audience on Israel Radio's Farsi Service and was less optimistic - calling on the Iranian people to choose a better leadership. The Israeli president's message was different from Obama's, and reflected the gloomy mood in the Jewish state. The differences in the messages reflects the wide gap between an American administration willing to give diplomacy with Iran a serious push and an Israeli leader's apprehension of a coming disaster.

The following is the complete text of President Peres's message to the Iranian people, [with my subtext comments in brackets]. The message was recorded partly in Farsi, for the Voice of Israel-Farsi radio [which may soon be closed down due to lack of budget at the Israel Broadcasting Authority], and was broadcast in Iran.

Dear citizens of Iran,

IRANIAN-EH AZIZ, RUZ-EH NOV VANORUZE BASTANT BEH SHOMA KHOSH BAD [Mazeltov]

With great happiness I would like to wish you, on the occasion of your holiday of Nowruz, a holiday of renewal that brings joy and hope for a new day [this might be the last time we talk like this], for better days [this is my attempt to get you to vote for reformists in your June 12 elections], and for a new and blessed year [we're probably going to bomb you this year because even if Moussavi, who was a wartime Prime Minister, wins the Presidency, the centrifuges won't stop spinning]. What a joy it is, this, your historical holiday that you have celebrated and kept for generations [Iran is 8,000 years old, don't make us make this your last Nowruz].

The people of Israel have lofty historical memories [most Israelis don't know any ancient history, and very few of our youngsters know who I really am either] from the period in which Iran thrived in a variety of fields and contributed to the world [but right now you're mired in unemployment, rampant drug abuse and extreme religious coercion, with your most successful export being Hizbullah], among other things, Cyrus's ancient Bill of Rights [when was the last time Iran came out with some exemplary human rights achievement?], and to the Jewish people, our right to return to our land from the Babylonian Exile [you probably regret that now don't you?] in order to establish the Temple in Jerusalem [why can't you be more like the Persians were back then, in the mid-5th century BCE?]. Iran and its people therefore have a special place in our heritage [right now you scare us to death and we're liable to lash out at you to make ourselves feel better].

Our relations with the Iranian people have also known good times in the modern period [we managed to get some high-level Iranian defense officials to defect, and several plane-loads of Iranian Revolutionary Guards recently crashed under mysterious circumstances]. We shared our experience in agriculture, industry and scientific and medical development [and so did you, with North Korea and Pakistan's AQ Khan], and we cultivated the best possible relations [now you're trying to break our hegemony with your Middle East program, and we cannot accept your nuclear program, your missile program, your space program, your Holocaust revisionist program and your racist TV programs].

To our great sadness, relations between our countries are at their lowest point [we're not there yet - but just before you get your hands on the S-300 anti-aircraft missile system we'll feel our backs are to the wall and then relations between us will really reach their lowest point]. This derives from the leaders of your country [soon-to-be-nuclear-armed terrorists], who are driven to act in every way possible against the State of Israel and its people [where is this hatred from? What have we done to you that's so bad?], and even to threaten us with their intention to destroy us [we've heard this kind of talk every generation for the last 4,000 years, but this time something is different, this time it's serious, this time the Evil One is trying to get us with nuclear weapons]. I ask myself how a noble people like you can be caught up in a blind hatred like this [haven't you been hearing our Voice of Israel Farsi broadcasts? Are our broadcasts not more interesting than the constant flow of lies and bile you're seeing about us from Al Jazeera, Al Arabiya, Al Manar and your own Press TV?], how you chose a leader who scorns the people who were murdered by the Nazis [why does this make someone popular in your country?], and who wants to destroy and kill another country [if it's the last thing I do I'll destroy you].

You believe in God [is this what Allah wants?], and we believe in God [Never Again], but in a God of life and respect, not a God of death and hate. I am sure that the day is not far when we will return to good neighborly relations [I know the majority of you support a rapprochement with the West, so there is still hope, still time to step away from the brink; listen to Obama] and effective cooperation will blossom once again [have I ever told you my New Middle East story?] , in every arena, for the benefit of our people and our shared futures.

At this time, when the current regime in Iran is calling for the destruction of Israel [how do you think this makes me feel? Me, who built the Dimona reactor so that the Holocaust would never be repeated, you think I'm a loser who will let you win? Me, a loser?] we call for Iran to prosper [if you take Obama's grand bargain you will be richer beyond your wildest dreams - even more than the Gulf Arabs]. We remember Cyrus the Great [so different to Ahmadinejad the Horrible], who is noted in the Bible as the liberating king [don't be fooled, nuclear weapons will not make you invincible, they'll make us want to destroy you] and we remember that our people lived in Iran for many generations [many of whom are now in Los Angles driving SUVs with oil from back home], sharing in the building of the land and contributing to to its welfare and culture [what will happen to the Jews of Iran when our countries go to war?]. We are certain and hopeful that the darkness and the evil will disappear from the world for the good of all of humanity [Here is a direct quote from Peres on Ahmadinejad: "It is impossible to feed your children enriched uranium for breakfast, they need a real breakfast; you cannot invest your money in enriched uranium and tell the children to remain a bit hungry, a bit ignorant."]

On the occasion of the new year, I turn to the noble Iranian people [you can do better] in the name of the ancient Jewish people [we are no longer the rag-tag spoils of war Cyrus allowed back to their homeland, we're stronger than you], and I wish that they will return to reclaim their rightful place amongst the enlightened nations of the world [stop enrichment right now, dismantle the Natanz and Bushehr nuclear plants, abandon Hizbullah, leave Lebanon alone, let Syria go, stop trying to destabilize Iraq and Afghanistan, stop everything you are doing and talk to Obama]. They will be respected and not hated [even more respected and less hated than the Saudis], and just as they have in the past, I am certain that they will make great cultural contributions in the future [wouldn't you rather shop-til-you-drop than be incinerated in a nuclear firestorm?].

I will conclude with the traditional blessing:

NORUZETAN PIRUZ HAR RUZETAN NORUZ BAD

[p.s. myth has it that the Nowruz holiday began when an ancient Persian king saved mankind from a killer (read nuclear) winter that was destined to kill every living creature].

Shimon Peres

Post originally appeared in Forecast Highs, Amir Mizroch's personal blog.