Generation Bubelah: A tale of two brothers

It's a strange thing that death brings people together. And although it does make sense, reminding people about what is truly important in life, it's also sad to think it's possibly one of the only ways to mend broken bonds.

Imagine two brothers. Two brothers who were so close you couldn't find one without the other. Two brothers who, when younger, played with each other, shared secrets, and hugged. Then something changed. One became an orthodox rabbi and the other didn't.

In the beginning, neither of them thought it would break their bond, but when the unorthodox brother married a non-Jew, their once tightly knit relationship unraveled.

"It's like drugs," the rabbi said. "If David had a drug problem, I wouldn't continue my relationship with him because what he was doing was wrong. I wouldn’t want to encourage him."

So for years the brothers went without speaking to one another, and in turn affected the entire family. Is this right?

First of all I should mention this is a true story, it's not a hypothetical case I put on the page to bring up a dialogue about how religious beliefs can negatively affects families.

I'm also not saying that religion always has a negative impact when it comes to family, because it often acts as an ingredient to bring families together. However, in the above scenario, it saddens me to think that because of a belief one could turn against his or her own sibling. Does religion truly turn everyone into an "other"?

It's apparent that the different sects of Judaism don't always understand each other, but does that really warrant cutting off ties with family members and friends?

The sister of the two brothers, now put in the middle, wants everyone to make nice, but how?

The rabbi is set in his beliefs and to push them aside would be sacrilegious.

For years the brothers went without seeing each other or speaking. Then there was a death in the family. Maybe the funeral reminded them of the importance of family or how long it had been since they’d seen each other, because they conversed, briefly, and exchanged e-mail addresses, a great first step to rebuilding their relationship.

At this moment they have started a dialogue, but how long will it last before religious beliefs creep in and make it impossible for them to tolerate one another?

Religion comes with rules, and as much as I understand the need to follow them, I also see the benefit, in circumstances such as the above, to break them.

Of course my openness comes from the fact that I'm not orthodox, and it's easy for me to see the situation this way. But I wonder what the solution is from the other side?

Again, I'm not saying that all situations are similar either, but are there ways to solve this scenario without breaking the rules of religion and belief? Or is death the only way that could possibly bring people back together.