Generation Bubelah: When the joking gets tough

What does a Jew do after his friends leave? He checks the sofa for loose change. Or what about this one, why do Jews have such big noses? Cuz all the air's free. Now, these jokes must have gotten your attention; I know when I first heard them, I put my hand to my mouth and gasped. The topic of Jewish jokes came up the other night over dinner.

I was sitting in my apartment with a couple of friends and we started talking about what is and what is not politically correct when it comes to joking about other races, religions, and so on. The subject came up because of Golf channel's news anchor Kelly Tilghman who was only suspended for two weeks after she said, on air, that any young players who wanted to challenge Tiger Woods should "lynch him in a back alley." Although Tiger Woods agent at IMG said he didn't believe there was any ill intent, it did spark debate among my friends. Then the topic switched to Judaism. My friends asked if I was offended by Jewish jokes.

"Like, what's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position? Facing Tiffany's"?

My reaction? Yes they offend me.

"But they're just jokes, " onne of my friends said, "they aren't serious."

This got me thinking about the root of jokes. Jokes are humorous, and the best way to get a laugh is by making fun of something that is different. On the Jewish joke front, it's obvious that what most people prey on are the stereotypes, Jews have big noses; they are known for being cheap, obsessed with sales, shopping and money. I remember one time I was in New York City and some guy was trying to sell me tickets to a show about Jesus. He was preaching to me when I said, well, I'm Jewish. To which he responded, "your nose it too small to be Jewish." Is this really the first thing that non-Jews think when they think about Jews?
 
I wanted to know, from my non-Jewish friends, what they thought. What was the first thing that came to mind when they thought about Jews? Was it superficial stereotypes or something deeper? So I asked the question to some of my non-Jewish friends.

"The first thing that comes to mind for me is family. I know so many Jewish families who really value dinnertime together, especially with young kids. They talk to their kids about the world, big events, history, etc. I've always admired that. I also feel like Jewish families, more so than, say, my perception of Catholic and some Christian families, create bonds that go well into the future, generation after generation. There's more accountability to elders, etc. Again, I'm basing this only on people I know. Also having been raised Catholic (unhappily), I have always noticed that my Jewish friends had more "discussion" about their faith than I did. We weren't really encouraged to ask questions, as we were supposed to just "have faith" that what was taught was true and that Catholicism was the only true faith, etc. I asked a teacher once in fifth grade, after she'd just made a statement about Catholics, what about all the other religions? And she sent me into the hall to sit against the wall for an hour."

"I think Jewish people are often more family-oriented. Certainly have more of a connection with their heritage than any non-Jewish people I know. There is a real sense of "community" in the culture that bridges borders and nationalities in a way that no other religion or culture does. I think Jewish people tend to be more reluctant to marry outside the Jewish religion than other religions - but it seems more so as not to dilute the Jewish traditions, heritage, etc, than fear of future religious dispute between spouses."

I was surprised at the responses. Family, tradition and culture were the first things that both of my friends thought about. They didn't mention physical traits, spending habits, nothing of the sort. Then I started to think about where my friends were getting these ideas of Jewish life. It struck me that in life we really only know things based on the exposure we have of something. So then it's not too surprising that my friends made the comments they did and not the racial slurs or the mention of the physical traits. We, as people,  have a tendency to identify the differences in others; which is why I think my grandmother chooses to have more Jewish friends than non-Jewish friends; however, if we are open to the beauty in other people, and not just on a mission to identify the differences and make fun of them, then we are probably going to attract more positive experiences when it comes to how we view other races and religions. Don't you think?